The Shepherd's Daughter

Shelley Lloyd Smith

Author: Shelley

Recipes

Recipes

Posted on by Shelley

Rachel and her friend Katy had just worked out at the gym.  They were starving.  They wanted enchiladas.  They wanted them NOW.

I offered to share my tried and true chicken enchilada recipe with them.  Recipe?  Nah.  Recipes take TIME.  Who needs a recipe?

“We got this,” they said.  So I got out of the way.

They combined corn tortillas, leftover grilled chicken, Mexican cheese and enchilada sauce.  LOTS of sauce.  Into the oven it went.

Thirty minutes later, out came something that resembled soup more than enchiladas.  They called it “dip.”  I called it grounds for a nomination to “Worst Cooks in America.”

Still, it was food for thought.

Because I think this is how many of us well-meaning folks approach Life.  We want to be happy.  We long to be loved.  We hope to make a difference in this world.  All good and desirable things.

We set out to assemble what we believe to be the essential ingredients:  friends, education, job, spouse, house, kids.  We throw them together, in no particular order or quantity, anticipating something a-mazing.  Or at least satisfying.

What we end up with is often less than appetizing.

As I stood idly by while Rachel and Katy took over my kitchen, I wondered if this might be a taste of how God feels as He sits back and watches us try to tackle life.  He is more than willing to share His recipe for abundant living with us.  He was even kind enough to write it down for our easy access and quick reference.  But impatience (“We want it now.”) and pride (“We got this.”) get in the way.  We disregard His instructions, and He steps aside.

And the result can be a gloppy mess.

The good news is that He is still standing by, patiently waiting for an invitation to step in.  He knows just the right timing, ingredients, proportions and seasoning to make life work.  His recipe has been tested over time and proven to be superior to anything we could concoct on our own.  He’ll gladly help us mop up our messes and start over, His way.

The question is:  Will we let Him?

“Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance.” (Isaiah 55:2b, NAS)

Out on a Limb

Out on a Limb

Posted on by Shelley

I can feel my heart pounding inside my chest.  My hands are clammy as I type.  I’m not a risk taker.  I don’t like conflict.  I’m afraid of being judged.

Yet here I go, out on this limb.  (Deep breath.)

It’s a limb called “Tithe.”

When I began blogging I determined not to use this space as a soapbox, a platform to vent or push my own agenda.  Ephesians 4:29 is written out on a sticky note beside my computer screen, a filter for my words.  Are they Wholesome?  Edifying?  Timely?  Grace-giving?  I pray this post also passes that test.

I love God’s church, the beautiful bride of Christ.  I would never want to do anything to hurt or divide it.  I pray my words build up, not tear down.

But respectful dialogue and a different perspective on a subject can be healthy for the church.  Sometimes we are called to address a potentially controversial topic, to leave the comfort zone, the safe place.  Being out on a limb is scary.  But if God beckons us out there, He will hold us up.

Enough disclaimers.

Our pastor just issued a “90-Day Challenge.”  The challenge is to tithe (give 10% of your income) to the church for 90 days.  If at the end of that time you don’t feel God has blessed you, the church will gladly refund your money.  The biblical basis for this challenge can be found in the third chapter of the Old Testament book of Malachi.  Here God encourages His people to “bring the whole tithe into the storehouse” and to “test” Him to see if He will not pour out a blessing upon them.

I take God’s Word seriously.  And I certainly don’t want to miss out on a blessing.  But I will not be participating in the 90-Day Challenge, or taking the “Tithing Test,” as it is sometimes called.  Here’s why.

I don’t have a problem with encouraging people to give.  Greed is not a fruit of the Spirit.  We are called to be generous.  “For from him and through him and for him are all things.”  (Romans 11:36a, NIV)

I do have a problem, however, with the way tithing is taught and emphasized in many–if not most–Christian churches.  Tithing has become so widely accepted (and expected) as THE way to trust God with your finances.  It’s just what ‘good Christians’ do.  But I believe it is more of a cultural Christian practice than a biblical mandate.

The “tithe” as we know it today is a far cry from the tithe of the Bible.  Tithing was a part of the Levitical law.  Devout Jews were required to bring a “tenth” of their produce and livestock at various times throughout the year, to help feed the temple priests, its officiants, and the poor.  The tithe was never money (even though currency was in use at that time).  It wasn’t even an actual 10%, but averaged more like 23% annually.  (For more on the historical tithe, check out the link below.)

The fact is, none of that matters or applies anymore.  Jesus’ death on the cross freed us from the demands of the law.  The New Covenant, one characterized by grace and freedom in Christ, is now in effect.  We are no longer obligated to keep the Old Covenant, which includes the tithe.

Christians are most definitely exhorted to give:  generously, cheerfully, voluntarily.*  But do a search of the word “tithe” in the New Testament.  Most notable is its complete absence in Paul’s instructions to the Church.  Believers will be hard pressed to find a command in the New Testament to tithe their income to the local church.  It’s just not there.**

I’m not saying it’s wrong if you prayerfully decide to give 10% to your local church.  Many of my godly friends tithe and I love and respect them.  For some, tithing can be a helpful financial discipline.  But I also don’t think God will punish you or withhold a blessing from you if you don’t.

If you are struggling financially, perhaps you need to hear that it’s okay to just humbly receive right now.  Maybe the church should be giving to you.  I love the fact that our church recently started a Facebook page to help meet practical needs within the church family.  It feels very much like a modern version of the early church.

But as for me and my house, we have chosen not to tithe.  This doesn’t mean we don’t support our local church and other Christian organizations.  We have at times given a percentage of a certain source of income (like our tax refund or the sale of a house) to God’s work.  Sometimes it has been 10%.  Sometimes it has been 100%.  I guess you could say we try to practice “Spirit-led giving.”

We don’t have it all down.  We still miss opportunities to bless.  But the Lord is patiently teaching and gently molding us into givers after His own heart.

A wrought iron sign hangs in a prominent place in our home.  It reads:

“Blessed by the Grace of God”

I love it because it’s a reminder to me that we have most certainly been blessed.  Abundantly.  So much more than we deserve.  And not because WE have done anything.  Simply because of God’s grace, given freely to us in Christ.

So the real test for me is not in tithing, but in trusting that God loves me and desires to bless me, independent of my performance.  Because God’s grace is another limb I am often nervous to inch out on.  It feels risky.  Is it really strong enough?  If I rely on it completely, and not on my own efforts, will it hold me up?

His grace is exhilarating, and it is enough.  I’m learning to rest in it as I rest my full weight on it.  His grace motivates and challenges me to give.  Freely, generously, as I have been given.

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.  For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.” (John 1:16-17, NAS)

 “…see that you also excel in this grace of giving.” (2 Corinthians 8:7b, NIV)

 

* (See 2 Corinthians 8 and 9.)

** (Matthew 23:23/Luke 11:42 is about the closest you’ll get.  Keep in mind that Jesus was addressing the Pharisees and referring to the temple tithe.)

~For inspiration on giving generously, go to:  http://www.generousgiving.org/

~For an in-depth study on the topic of tithing, try:  http://www.tithing-russkelly.com/ (Scroll down a little to get to the essay.)

 

When God Smiles

When God Smiles

Posted on by Shelley

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like God is smiling down on you?  I had one today!

He coaxed me out of bed early this morning to share the sunrise with Him, as He brushed a white snow canvas with shades of orange and pink.

I felt the warmth of His smile as the sunshine returned after a late spring snowstorm,  and could just imagine Him chuckling at the pine trees so weighted down with snow they looked more at home on the front of a Christmas card than on a calendar flipped to the month of May.

And I thought I even heard Him laugh out loud when I reached the bottom of (the hill we call) our driveway and triggered a sudden avalanche down my windshield from the foot of snow on the roof of our van.

It’s good to feel His smile.

I came across this very cool verse as I was reading through the book of Proverbs last month:  “When the king smiles, there is life; his favor refreshes like a spring rain.” (Proverbs 16:15)  (Or, in our case, a spring snow.)  Let the words soak into your heart like the melting snow refreshes and revives the dry plains.

To be in Christ means that The King’s favor is upon you.  It means that when He looks at you, He smiles.

Jesus once stood in a crowded Jewish synagogue and announced that “…the time of the Lord’s favor has come…”  (Isaiah 61:2 and Luke 4:19).  This was a game changer.  No longer was God’s favor tied to man’s strict observance of the Law.  It was now a gift realized through one’s vital union with the Messiah.

But old habits die hard.  So Paul challenges our natural human bent toward performance in the book of Galatians:  “You are trying to earn favor with God by observing certain days or months or seasons or years.” (Galatians 4:10)  Or by…?  Fill in the blank.  What ways are you still trying to earn God’s favor?

Whatever it is, IT is no longer necessary.  Jesus’ perfection earned our admission into the throne room of the King.  We don’t come fearfully, as Esther did when she risked her life daring to approach the king unsummoned.  We enter by His own personal invitation, and can be confident that when our eyes meet His, we will find them wrinkled in a warm and welcoming smile.

If you belong to Christ, every day is a day you can know God is smiling down on you.  For the time of the Lord’s favor has come.  You can’t earn it.  Just believe it.  And feel the warmth radiating from His beaming face.

When God looks at you, He smiles.

“May His face smile with favor upon (you!)” (Psalm 67:1b)

(All Scripture references are from The New Living Translation of the Bible.)

Thieves

Thieves

Posted on by Shelley

Emily’s iphone was stolen Monday night.  She thought it would be safe in her coat pocket in the break room at work.  She was wrong.

A few months ago at church she also thought her purse would be safe on the seat next to her during worship.  Wrong again.

Both of these incidents had relatively happy endings.  Her purse was discovered in the women’s bathroom, mostly intact.  Her iphone was recovered within a few hours, thanks to a diligent police officer and amazing modern technology.  (Thieves, beware of a handy little iphone app which signals a lost phone’s exact location!)

The loss of trust, however, is harder to regain.  A sense of personal well being and security is more difficult to recoup.  A thief steals more than mere personal belongings.

A few weeks ago my sister sent me a text message with this question:  What is your favorite Bible verse?  I’ve never really designated one particular verse as my all-time favorite.  But Jesus’ words in John 10:10 were the first thing to pop into my mind:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (NAS)

It seemed like a strange response at the time.  Not the kind of verse you’d necessarily want stencilled over your fireplace or cross stitched in a frame.  References to theft, murder and destruction aren’t exactly family room friendly.

Yet aren’t these the very themes that have been playing out on television screens in family rooms all across the country lately?  One needn’t look far to find abundant evidence of this “thief’s” activity.  Satan’s fingerprints are all over recent events, from the tragic suicide of a well-known pastor’s son, to the drama and devastation on Boston’s bloodstained  sidewalks, to the massive fireball which left a Texas community reeling and mourning.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…”

Should we be surprised?  It’s his job description, after all.  The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon defines destroy as “to render useless.”  If he can’t murder his victims outright, he will attempt to rob them of joy, hope and purpose.  He seeks to paralyze, defeat, and make us ineffective.

“I came that they might have life…”

Into this dark reality…Jesus came.  His assignment?  To bring LIFE.

He once claimed Isaiah 61 as His job description.*  Verses 3-5 contain phrases such as these:

“…to bestow … beauty instead of ashes … joy instead of mourning … praise instead of a spirit of despair …”

“…to rebuild … restore … renew … (what has been) … devastated …” (NIV)

This is why He came.  To unravel the work of the enemy.  To return what the thief has stolen.  To take tragedy and somehow fashion something beautiful out of it.  I don’t know how He does it.

It takes time.  Often a long time.  Maybe even a lifetime.

But He can and will do it.  It’s what He’s all about.

And that is why I’m holding on to Him, and to John 10:10, a little more tightly these days.

*See Luke 4:16-21.

Imperfect Progress

Imperfect Progress

Posted on by Shelley

I am a recovering perfectionist.

This may surprise those of you who have visited my home and observed my less-than-perfect housekeeping habits firsthand.  The problem with perfectionists is that we get trapped in this “all or nothing” mentality.  So if we can’t do something perfectly, we don’t want to do it at all.

I’m going to swallow my pride and share a current illustration of this in my life.  A little over three years ago I embarked on a weight loss journey.  It should not surprise you that I followed the program to a ‘t.’  As a result I lost over 30 pounds!  (34, to be exact.  We perfectionists like to be exact.)  This was huge for me (no sarcasm intended)!

Well, the weight stayed ‘lost’ for a while, but then the pounds started finding me again.  I finally recommitted to lose the extra weight again almost a year later and managed to shed ten of those unwanted pounds.  Unfortunately within the following year they paid me a return visit, only this time they each brought a friend!  So, once again, I re-enrolled in my weight loss program, bid twenty pounds farewell and (once again) arrived at my goal weight after several months of faithfully sticking to the plan.

Now, is it just me or did you notice a pattern here?  In case you missed it, let me highlight it for you:  Gain.  Lose.  Gain.  Lose.  Gain.  Lose.  I’m quite experienced in the weight gain department.  I had grown in my ability to lose weight.  But I was tired of this teeter totter.  Pounds up.  Pounds down.  I needed to develop a new skill: maintaining a healthy weight.

About the time I was longing to jump off this playground ride, a verse jumped out at me during a Sunday morning sermon.  It was Philippians 3:16, from the New Living Translation:  “But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.”   I had made progress in my weight loss journey.  The challenge now was holding on to it!

When the pounds start creeping back on, my perfectionist tendencies kick in.  I feel like a failure and quit trying.  The scales then tip (no pun intended) drastically in the other direction.  I relinquish nearly all the progress I have made.

But I’ve recently adopted a new mantra, one that is helping to change my unbalanced,  “all or nothing” approach to life.  Lysa TerKeurst shared it in her new book, Unglued.  Fellow perfectionists, recite with me:

“Imperfect progress is the goal.”

It has taken me awhile to really believe this.  Little by little, however, I’m becoming more comfortable accepting my imperfections.  I have good days and bad days.  But I’m learning to pick myself up and forgive myself when I fail.  I don’t have to let one bad day turn into a month of bad days.  God’s mercies are new every morning.  (Lamentations 3:23)

I’m still learning how to maintain a healthy weight.  I have my ups and downs.  (Pun intended.)  But God sees my heart, and knows that I’m sincerely trusting Him to help me change–even when the number on the scale is moving in the wrong direction.  His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect(!) in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)  I’m so thankful for that.

It’s a battle sometimes (okay, all the time!).  But I’m still in it and I’m not giving up.  For me, that in itself is progress.

So here I am, no longer swinging from one extreme to the other, learning to live somewhere in the messy middle.

Imperfect, but making progress.

His work in progress.

And you know what?

I think I just might be perfectly okay with that.

The Nest

The Nest

Posted on by Shelley

Spotting the first robins of spring always takes me back to the spring of 2006, an ordinary robin’s nest, and the simple truths it contained…

We had a front row seat to the miracle of new life.  A pair of robins built their nest low in the branches of our apple tree.  So low, in fact, that my three kids could peer right in, without even standing on tiptoes.  Four beautiful, blue, perfectly formed eggs peered right back at them.  And so the story began.

{Photo by Emily Smith}

I found myself strangely comforted by the sight of the mama bird perched so contentedly on that nest.  Each morning I’d wake up and eagerly part my bedroom blinds for a look out at the apple tree.  There she always sat, regardless of what our unpredictable Wyoming spring weather threw at her.  Sun, rain, sleet, snow, hail, and the ever prevailing wind–she prevailed through it all.

My oldest daughter got on the Internet and informed us that a robin’s egg incubates for 12-14 days.  And sure enough, about two weeks later, we chased the robin off the nest long enough to note that three of the eggs had indeed hatched.  In their place were tiny, hairless little creatures with faces only a mother robin could love.

The remaining egg hatched a day or so later.  Soon all we could see were four golden beaks, pointing up like sharpened pencils, when their mother returned to the nest with dinner.  Within a few days we could also hear those noisy beaks as they celebrated the timely arrival of a juicy worm or some other succulent morsel.

We human mothers have more in common with our feathered friends than you might think.  After all, we say an expectant mom is “nesting” when she compulsively cleans right before her due date.  And how do we refer to the home when the last child leaves?  It’s an “empty nest!”  The Bible also frequently uses the imagery of a bird and its young to illustrate God’s special relationship with His children.

As the drama surrounding the busy nest in our backyard unfolded, I realized I had been granted a privileged spot in a unique classroom.  A humble robin may be an unusual and unlikely mentor.  But as I sat under her able instruction, I watched…and learned.

Lesson #1:  It matters.

The mother robin was a picture of serenity as she rested sedately on her nest.  I was attracted to her quiet dignity as she faithfully fulfilled the purpose for which God had created her. She almost seemed to be holding her head high, proud of her noble calling.

The robin instinctively knows her place and purpose in the world.  But you and I need to be reminded that giving birth to and nurturing LIFE is an unparalleled honor given to us by God.  What could be more significant?  Mothering matters!  It is a reflection of the heart and nature of our Creator.  Like the robin, we can experience peace and contentment, knowing we are in the very center of God’s will.

Lesson #2:  Stay close.

Before the eggs hatched, the robin spent most of her time sitting on the nest.  She would occasionally leave its perimeters in search of a snack or a quick shower in the sprinkler, but she never traveled far and always returned quickly.  Several times we ventured out into the yard to sneak a peek at the nest when it appeared to be unoccupied.  Each time we were surprised to find that she hadn’t abandoned her post at all, but was somewhere in the grass or branches within earshot and eyesight.

When our children are young and vulnerable, they need the comfort of our presence and the assurance that we are never far away.  We may at times, out of necessity, need to leave the nest.  (Time away to preserve one’s sanity is also a necessity!)  But stay as close as you possibly can and return as quickly as you can.

One of the qualities I appreciate most about my heavenly Father is the fact that He is always near, keeping a watchful eye on His beloved children.  Deuteronomy 32:11a describes God this way:  “Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young…”  And Psalm 73:28, one of my all-time favorites, states that:  “The nearness of God is my good.”  Let your nearness be the good of your children as well.

Lesson #3:  It’s hard work.

After the eggs hatched, the robin no longer had the luxury of putting her feet up on the sides of a quiet nest.  She spent most of her time then flying tirelessly back and forth across the yard, gathering food and dropping it into four hungry mouths.  As soon as the quadruplets caught even a glimpse of her in the tree branches they would sit up and start squawking for more.  Once they were satisfied, she would wiggle her red breast and then plop it right down on top of them, as if to say, “It’s nap time!”  Surely, it was she who needed the nap!

Parenting small children can often feel like we’re rowing on an endless sea of needs.  I remember many times pulling our van into the driveway with a crying baby needing to be fed, a whining toddler needing attention, melting groceries needing to be put away, not to mention my own full bladder needing to be emptied…trying to decide which of those needs to meet first!  Often we moms feel like we’re last in line and wonder with a sigh, Who is going to meet my needs–and when?

Listen to what God says to you in His Word.  “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?”  (Matthew 6:26)  In Philippians 4:19 He promises that He “…shall supply all your needs…” !

You matter to Him!  You don’t have to wait in line for Him to wait on you.  When you look to Him to care for your needs, you will be filled up to care for the many needs of your family.

Lesson #4:  It’s a battle.

The first time we approached the robin’s nest she flew off, frightened.  As time went on she grew bolder in her protection of her eggs and later of her babies.  Once she even chased my scared kids all the way up the stairs of our wooden deck and back into the house as she chirped loudly and flew at them aggressively.

We too need to be bold and vigilant in protecting our young.  Dangers lurk everywhere–from oncoming traffic to Internet predators and everything in between.  The Bible says there are also three enemies of our souls:  the world, Satan, and our flesh.  These threats may seem less obvious but the spiritual danger is just as real.

Prayer is a mother’s secret and best weapon.  I believe God’s heart is especially tender to a mama’s cries on her babies’ behalf.  Despite the myriad dangers, we can rest in His capable protection of them and of us as we pray and “hide in the shadow of (His) wings.” (Psalm 17:8)

Lesson #5:  Stay together.

It wasn’t many weeks before the quads were tumbling out of the nest and testing out their own new wings.  One night, not long after they had flown the coop, my husband and I relaxed outside on our porch swing, enjoying the cool and calm of the May evening.  Against the backdrop of a colorful sunset, silhouetted on the fence, we spied the pair of robins.  None of the baby robins were in view, but there the parents were–still together, a team, lifelong companions.

It is no secret that half of all marriages today don’t make it.  Many don’t weather the storms and stresses of the child raising years well.  Some of my sweet single mom friends can attest to this painful reality firsthand.

But there is hope.  Beth Moore shares in Feathers From My Nest:

We’re making it. And so can you. Only one thing stood between us and a scattered nest. God. Ever loving us, forgiving us, teaching us, restoring us. Redeeming our failures. Reclaiming our surrendered ground. Repairing our broken wings. As Psalm 91:4 says, He covered us with His feathers. And they are all over our nest.”

Precious, hard working mom, like the robin you, too, can hold your head high.  God has entrusted you with the most important assignment in all of creation.  Let Him be the Lord of your nest.  He will enable you to do your job well.  He will so graciously provide and ever so powerfully protect.  Then this will be your grateful song of victory:

  ..You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. (Psalm 63:7)

Note:  All Scripture references are from The New American Standard Version.

What Kind of Love

What Kind of Love

Posted on by Shelley

They deserted Him when He needed them the most. One betrayed Him with a kiss. Another denied three times that he even knew Him.

(And these were His friends.)

But, He loved them to the end. (John 13:1b, NIV)

What kind of love is this?

They arrested Him on trumped up charges. Mocked and mistreated Him. Sentenced Him to an excruciating death.

He prayed for them.

(And these were His enemies.)

“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34a, NIV)

What kind of love is this?

I’m not that different from either one. I fail Him when I bow my head in slumber instead of prayer. I deny Him when I let fear of what others might think silence my voice. I mock Him when I pay mere lip service to His commands. I crucify Him all over again when I yield to the flesh instead of to the Spirit.

(And I claim to be His follower.)

Yet, He assures me that …where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. (Romans 5:20b, NASB)

What kind of love is this?

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NLT)

Amazing love!

How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

*Lyrics are from “And Can It Be, That I Should Gain?” by Charles Wesley, published in 1738.

Leftovers

Leftovers

Posted on by Shelley

I have an aversion to throwing away uneaten food, even though the chances of it getting consumed in this household are slim.  I married a man who hates leftovers.  My kids aren’t much help either, unless it involves carry-out pizza.  But I come from a long line of leftover lovers, and old habits die hard.  So I faithfully carry on the proud family tradition of mummifying the contents of assorted little containers in Saran Wrap and sending them off on their journey to the back of the fridge to be forgotten.

A random peek inside my refrigerator revealed, among other delicacies:  a half-eaten, dried out deli chicken breast, a bowl of petrified onion dip, and a moldy ham.  Dee-lish.  Why do I keep this stuff around?  Probably because I have another aversion:  coming into contact with these unappetizing items which I once so carefully preserved.  I simply ignore them and hope they go away.

My state of denial will continue until my husband, disgusted with the crowded shelves, brings the trash can over to the open refrigerator and starts dumping.  We breathe a collective sigh of relief; the dishes are disinfected and returned to the cabinet to await new inhabitants.  It’s The Circle of Leftover Life.

There’s another way I store leftovers, however.  It happens when I’ve been hurt.  I tend to hang onto it, befriending it, rather than letting it go.  I wrap it in layers of self-righteousness, victimization, or justification and stick it in the fridge of unforgiveness, thinking it will be fine in there.  Or maybe it will just miraculously disappear and I won’t have to deal with it.

I’ve heard the refrigerator described as “the place where leftovers go to die.”  Only they don’t really die, do they?  They evolve into something worse.  Just as that bowl of bright orange carrots doesn’t retain its original color and taste, so “hurt” doesn’t remain as “hurt.”  It mutates.

The Bible gives us a glimpse of the changes that occur when we allow hurt to linger in our lives.  It is found in Ephesians 4:31:  “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (NAS)  Some commentators suggest that this list is a progression, going from bad to worse.  Let’s place the slide of Ephesians 4:31 under a microscope and examine the organisms that are growing there.

I believe hurt is the breeding ground for bitterness, which the thesaurus also describes as “resentment.”  According to Webster’s, the word stems from an Old English word meaning “to bite.”  Bitterness bites, all right.  Hebrews 12:15 describes a “root of bitterness” which “springing up causes trouble.”  When we choose to nurture our hurt, we invite the bacteria of bitterness to multiply.

Wrath and anger are the next arrivals on the scene.  Wrath is translated passion in the New English Bible.  Anger is described as “more premeditated, while wrath is more spontaneous.” (Bob Deffinbaugh, emphasis mine)  Do you see the progression?  Which is considered greater—a crime of passion, or one that is premeditated?  Wrath and anger are dangerous molds that grow in a bitter spirit.

Clamor and slander develop in the Petri dish of our speech.  The dictionary defines clamor as “a loud continuous noise.”  My favorite definition is this:  “(Clamor is) the loud self-assertion of the angry man, who will make everyone hear his grievances.”*  (Did you catch that reference to anger?)  This is where we make sure everyone knows how greatly we have been wronged!  If unchecked, clamor will degrade into slander, which is “speech that demeans the other person” (Deffinbaugh) or is “injurious to another’s good name.”**  These words don’t merely attack the individual’s character and reputation, but, according to Hebrews 12:15, the people we vent to are now also being “defiled.”  This is part of the toxic and infectious nature of bitterness.

The final fungus we view through the lens is malice:  “resentment that has turned even more sour…ill-will to the degree that we wish to see them suffer…actively seeking to bring harm to another.” (Deffinbaugh)  Things can get really messy here.  Because we have been hurt, we want them to hurt too.  This leads many to seek retribution and revenge.

A few years ago I was deeply hurt by someone close to me.  I kept the offense tucked away in a corner of my mind, hoping it would fade with time, but it didn’t.  It was always there, ready to be recalled.  What I failed to notice during the months that followed was that it was morphing into something ugly and unrecognizable.

Instead of just hurt, I began to feel angry.  When the topic came up in conversation, I was all too willing to recount their sins, referring to them by name, with complete disregard for their reputation.   I secretly wanted them to suffer for their indiscretions, thinking they would only be getting what they deserved.  I assured myself that when they called and told me how sorry they were for hurting me, I would most certainly forgive them.  Only that call never came.  Meanwhile, the shelves of my heart were sagging under the weight of all my “leftovers.”

Thankfully, Ephesians 4:31 not only describes the contents of a cluttered heart, but it also provides the remedy:  Put Them Away.  This doesn’t mean stuffing them in a drawer somewhere.  The idea here is “to pick up and carry away, to make a clean sweep.”***  Forgiveness is the equivalent of pulling the trash can over to the refrigerator and tossing out all that nasty stuff we’ve accumulated.  Some things just don’t improve with age!  Get rid of them!

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you,” are the instructions given in the very next verse.   Forgiveness is a choice, and the only right response to what God has done for us in Christ.  When I finally chose to forgive, it was a simple (that doesn’t mean easy!) act of the will.  I didn’t “feel” any differently towards them.  But forgiveness cleared the way for some new things to sprout in my heart, like kindness and compassion.  When I saw this person a month or so later, I surprised myself (and probably them!) when I reached out spontaneously to hug them.  God had freed me from my hurt, bitterness, and anger!  There was now room in my heart for love.

So…what’s in your fridge?  Go ahead, open the door to your heart, and take an honest inventory.  Got some unidentified “dying” objects in there?  Some mystery meat?  God is giving you permission to throw them out.  Enlist others’ help (a trusted friend, your spiritual leader, a godly counselor) if you just can’t bring yourself to face them.  But determine today to forgive.  Let them go.  You won’t miss them!  God can then restock your empty shelves with fresh and wholesome things that only He can supply and that everyone can enjoy!


 *Francis Foulkes, The Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians
**Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words
***Robertson’s Word Pictures
Come, Spring!

Come, Spring!

Posted on by Shelley

Happy First Day of Spring!

(Are you sure it’s not April Fool’s Day? Because you could’ve fooled me.)

Around here the First Day of Spring is just a date on a calendar. No daffodil or robin sightings in these parts yet. The hills are still clothed in muted shades of brown and the branches hang as bare as empty closet rods. The First Day of Spring could be more aptly named The 91st Day of Winter.

I must be a skeptic at heart, because every year about this time I catch myself wondering if spring will really come. Everything just looks so dead, dry, lifeless. How is it possible to transform this barren landscape into something vibrant and alive?

When spring tarries, doubt multiplies.

I’m like this in life too. I scan the horizon and see bleak situations. Cold hearts. Lifeless marriages.  And I wonder.

How? Is it even possible, Lord?

Then a bud appears. And another. The grand green carpet is rolled out once again. Spring shows up, surprising us, delighting us.

Miracles do happen. I’ve seen circumstances reversed. Prodigals returned. Health restored.  Marriages revived. God shows up, surprising us, delighting us.

So why do I doubt when He tarries?

“Oh, that we might know the Lord!  Let us press on to know him.  He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”

(Hosea 6:3, NLT)

What if we really knew this great God of ours and what He is capable of? What if we truly believed that He is faithful and His Word is sure?

I bet we’d hold on. Press on. Hope on.

For winter never lasts forever. Spring will come!

And so will He!

*If you could use a touch of spring today, check out Steven Curtis Chapman’s beautiful song “Spring is Coming”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj3DMk3NB-8

Not a Fan

Not a Fan

Posted on by Shelley

I didn’t make my high school cheer squad. I blame that on the unfortunate fact that, try as I might, I never could quite get those darn splits. I did get a chance to fill in several times as the school mascot, a “sabercat.” (Let’s just say that  jumping up and down while peering between two “saberteeth” in a sweaty, paper mache headpiece that flattened one’s hair into a matted mess was not as glamorous as one might think.)

Despite those traumatic experiences, I’m still a cheerleader at heart. I love to root for my favorite teams, whether they be Central High School, the Denver Broncos, or the U.S. Olympic athletes. I am a loyal and enthusiastic fan.

So it should come as no surprise that as a Christian, I also like to cheer for the “home team.” I love me a good testimony. I applaud at baptisms.  I tear up at missionary stories. Gimme a J!  J! Gimme an E!  E! (I’ll stop now.  You get the idea.)

I recently finished a book, however, that is really messing with my cheerleader mentality. It’s called Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman, pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Pastor Kyle’s basic premise is that Jesus was more interested in gathering followers than attracting fans. He came to this conclusion after studying the gospels:  “It wasn’t the size of the crowd Jesus cared about; it was their level of commitment.”

The dictionary defines fan as “an enthusiastic admirer.” Idleman relates this term to our modern-day approach to Christianity:

…I think Jesus has a lot of fans these days. Fans who cheer for him when things are going well, but who walk away when it’s a difficult season. Fans who sit safely in the stands cheering, but they know nothing of the sacrifice and pain of the field. Fans of Jesus who know all about him, but they don’t know him.”

Jesus isn’t looking to fill a stadium with fans or a sideline with cheerleaders. He is recruiting participants who will get in the game. And leave everything on the field.

Most of us don’t mind Jesus making some minor change in our lives but Jesus wants to turn our lives upside down. Fans don’t mind him doing a little touch-up work, but Jesus wants complete renovation. Fans come to Jesus thinking tune-up, but Jesus is thinking overhaul. Fans think a little makeup is fine, but Jesus is thinking makeover. Fans think a little decorating is required, but Jesus wants a complete remodel. Fans want Jesus to inspire them, but Jesus wants to interfere with their lives.”

Whoa. I’m such a wimp. If I whined when the Sabercat Hat messed with my hair, how do you think I might react when Jesus wants to mess with my life?

There is no way to follow Jesus without him interfering with your life. Following Jesus will cost you something. Following Jesus always costs something.”

I’ve been challenged along these lines lately by the example of another pastor, Saeed Abedini. If you’re unfamiliar with his story, Saeed is an Iranian born American citizen who has been imprisoned in Iran’s notoriously deadly Evin Prison since this past September. His crime? Being a follower of Jesus, in a country where following Jesus can literally cost you everything.

Last month a letter from Saeed was successfully smuggled out of prison. In it, he relays some of what holding on to his faith is costing him. But he also shares how his imprisonment and suffering have afforded him “golden opportunities” to point others to “The Shining Morning Star.” The letter reads a lot like other letters written to the early church from ancient prison cells. I think the church today could use more letters like these.

So I’m compelled to ask myself:  When was the last time my faith cost me something? Messed with my plans? Interfered with my life?

Am I a fan or a follower? That is the question Jesus asks each of us.

I’m still pretty “rah rah” when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. I’m passionate about His church and loyal to His cause. But I’m laying down my pom poms and lacing up my cleats instead. Because there’s work to be done.

And I am not a fan.

“He said to him, “Follow Me!” And he got up and followed Him.” (Mark 2:14b, NLT)

*The quotes shared above are from the introduction and the first twenty or so pages of Not a Fan. The rest of the book is good too! Kyle offers helpful insights into what it really means to be a follower of Jesus.

**Please take three minutes to listen to Saeed’s letter here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfBeRICdCcU. Trust me, it will do your faith good.

 

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