Shelley – Page 9 – The Shepherd's Daughter

Author: Shelley

Puppies and Poop

Posted on October 30, 2013January 5, 2015 by Shelley

That’s right. You can’t have one without the other. The trick is to keep the ‘other’ from getting on the ‘one.’ And on any other surfaces you’d rather not have to immediately sanitize.

Our first week with a new puppy brought a not-so-slight increase in laundry and baths. (Good thing we live in the county, where we don’t have a water bill.) I kept hearing that puppies don’t like to combine their bathrooms with their bedrooms. Well, this little guy didn’t seem to mind that combo one little bit.

I began to dread the scene that awaited me on the other side of the bathroom door each morning. There he’d be, all 2.1 pounds of him, jumping and scratching on the sides of his kennel, desperate to be picked up and held. I was genuinely happy to see him and eager to embrace him. But his condition was not exactly conducive to cuddling, if you know what I mean.

Laurel and I would fly into crisis mode, gathering supplies and scrambling to fill the sink with warm water. He’d whimper and wiggle as we tried to work some orange-scented “Puppy Fun!” shampoo into the offending areas. I wanted to say, “Stop fighting me! I can’t hold you until I get you cleaned up!” Eventually we’d get him bathed and bundled in a dry towel, where he’d sleep, spent from the struggle. By then, Laurel and I needed a nap too!

Just like that four-letter word that begins with ‘s,’ SIN happens in our lives. It goes hand in hand with our human condition. And when sin happens, we also have a tendency to step in it, track it around, and make an even bigger mess. We wonder why God appears to be distant as we cry out for comfort. The truth is He longs to hold us close, but the issue of our sin must first be addressed. We are helpless to clean ourselves up.

This is why Jesus came.

If you are still resisting Him, might I encourage you to stop? Submit to His capable care and let His love and mercy wash away sin’s stain. Relax in His strong grip. Rest in His tight embrace.

You can trust Him.

If you know Him as Savior, then why not be quick to run to Him when you make a mess? There’s no need to wallow in it or cower in shame. Just confess your sin, gratefully accept His forgiveness and get back to enjoying your relationship with Him.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NAS)

It feels good to be clean.

And even better to be held.

Earthen Vessels

Posted on October 11, 2013May 7, 2016 by Shelley

This fall I have the opportunity to teach, for the third time, a class at our church called “Foundations: Christian Living.” I’ve known and walked with the Lord for over three decades. I should have this Christian Life thing down by now, shouldn’t I?

Well, turns out I don’t.

It’s easy to become discouraged when the gap between Who-I-am and Who-I-am-called-to-be appears to widen instead of narrow. Being confronted with one’s weaknesses and failures at this stage in the game can certainly intensify feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. The enemy of my soul knows and loves to exploit this.

Who are YOU to teach a class on the Christian life? Look at you! All this time, and you still don’t have it together. What kind of example are you to these young believers?

These defeating thoughts kept running through my mind last week as the start date of the class approached. I decided to go for a walk in an effort to clear my head and pray. So I headed down the hill that leads away from our house, pouring out my heart, confessing my sin, and acknowledging my fears and feelings of inadequacy to the Lord. As I turned onto a side street, the following phrase entered my mind, clear and succinct, the way I’ve come to recognize God’s voice when He speaks:

We have this treasure in earthen vessels.

I caught my breath. Tears sprang to my eyes. I repeated this verse, which is from 2 Corinthians 4:7, over and over as I continued down the dirt road, meditating on the meaning of His words.

We have this treasure… Jesus… the Pearl of Great Price… the One Thing that Matters… I have Him!

…in earthen vessels… that’s me all right… weak… flawed… inadequate… unworthy.

See? Just look at you! That ‘other’ voice taunted again. Only now I knew how to respond.

“If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that.” (2 Corinthians 4:7, The Message)

(That last part makes me laugh.)

What if our weaknesses actually create a better backdrop to highlight His power? The apostle Paul certainly came to accept this as true in his life and ministry:

“Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b, NAS)

Rather than disqualify us for ministry, what if our flaws even help to enhance our effectiveness? After all, they keep us humble, honest, and dependent on Him. Isn’t that the best and safest place to be?

We are earthen vessels, ordinary and imperfect. God’s only condition for service is that a vessel be clean. Then He delights to fill and use it to accomplish His purposes.*

He is the Treasure, extraordinary and perfect. May our weaknesses draw attention to HIS greatness, and our imperfections serve to showcase HIS glory.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves…” (2 Corinthians 4:7, NAS)

*See 2 Timothy 2:21.

Saturated

Posted on September 25, 2013May 7, 2016 by Shelley

Rain, rain. Go away. Come again another…month.

Seriously. We’ve already broken the local record for precipitation in the month of September. And if the raindrops that pelted my bedroom window again this past Monday afternoon were any indication, we are well on our way to shattering the all-time record.

Newsflash: We are no longer in a drought.

Across town many folks are repairing flooded basements and drivers are dodging a plethora of new potholes. But this is nothing compared to the devastation suffered by our Colorado neighbors just to the south. They were inundated with more than twice the amount of rain we received. We join them as they mourn their losses and pray for them as they set out on the long road of recovery.

Our pastor’s basement was one of the unfortunate casualties here. Last Sunday morning it was filling up so rapidly they put out a distress call. At one point they had no less than NINE Shop-Vacs going, just to keep their knees above water. The sodden ground was so saturated that the water was coming in through their foundation. There was just nowhere else for it to go.

Definition of saturated: “…something that is completely soaked, or something that is filled to the brim and cannot take any more.”

After nearly a week of steady rain, our normally arid plains had surely become saturated. The soil was like a water-logged sponge, unable to absorb another drop. The excess had to go somewhere.

So it is with our spiritual lives.

Throughout Scripture, water is used as a metaphor for the Holy Spirit’s filling and empowering.

“For I will pour out water to quench your thirst and to irrigate your parched fields. And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children.” (Isaiah 44:3, NLT)

Jesus took these references from the Old Testament and personalized them:

“The one who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, will have streams of living water flow from deep within him. He said this about the Spirit.” (John 7:38-39a, HCSB)

The Greek word for “streams” can also be translated “a river, torrents, a flood.” Recent images of flooded Colorado canyons flash through my mind. Too much water can be a bad thing. But too much of the Spirit? No such thing. The rushing flow of the Holy Spirit doesn’t bring destruction, but rather life. It’s “living” water. Zao, in the Greek, means “to be fresh, strong, efficient; active, powerful.”

I’d sure like those words to characterize my life.

I do believe in Jesus. And I have known what it is like to be propelled by His invigorating, energizing power. But without the Spirit’s continual filling, I shrivel up like a crusty old sponge.

Dry. Stale. Useless.

The abundant rainfall this month has done more than just bring our area out of a persistent state of drought. It has also served as a timely visual aid to me, a reminder of what my life in the Spirit should be.

Saturated with His Word. Soaked in His presence. Filled to the brim with His Spirit. Flowing over and out into the empty places around me.

As the latest raindrops slid down my window pane, this prayer sprung up from within me. Perhaps you, too, feel like a dried out sponge. If so, I invite you to pray along…

Living Water, flow in me. Flood each thirsty pore with your refreshing presence and sustaining power. Flush out the clogs of self and the debris of sin so that the river of Your Spirit can run free and unhindered through me. Fill me up, I pray. May my mind be so steeped in Your truth, my heart so saturated with Your love, that I have no other recourse but to spill out, overflowing to a world in need. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs…” (Psalm 107:35, NIV)

Photo Notes: Top photo was taken of our cat looking on as more rain fell on Monday. Bottom photo was taken while we were up in Boulder Canyon on August 31, 2013, just a week and a half before the flooding.

(Sources: Definition of “saturated” is from “Your Dictionary.” Definitions of Greek words are from The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon.)

The Answer

Posted on September 7, 2013December 12, 2013 by Shelley

“You are the answer to my prayers!’

This was the sentiment on the front of a greeting card I once came across. I still remember it years later, because upon opening the card the recipient was hit with this zinger:

“You’re not what I prayed for exactly, but apparently you’re the answer.”

Um…thank you?

Perhaps I can also still recall this particular card because it exposes a deeper reality, one that is often unsettling and confusing:

Sometimes God’s answers don’t exactly match our requests.

Can I get an Amen?

My latest experience with this has come through our recent quest for a puppy. In July I made an appointment with a local Shih Tzu breeder, hoping to find a female puppy in time for Laurel’s upcoming birthday. On the way there I prayed and asked God for wisdom and direction. Instead of choosing one of two available female puppies on site, I felt inexplicably drawn to a sweet expectant mama, “Katie,” who was due in mid-August. Believing this to be God’s leading, I nervously put down a deposit to secure the pick of the litter, and began praying that she would have at least one female pup.

We surprised Laurel on her birthday a couple of weeks later with a tiny pink polka-dot dog collar. She was thrilled and quite content to wait for her special puppy’s arrival. In the meantime she picked out a cute little girl’s name and prayed for her daily. (Can you see where this is going?)

Last week, the long-awaited call from the breeder finally came.

Only there was no ‘Her.’

Just a ‘Him.’

Huh?

There were some tears. Disappointment. Confusion. A mini crisis of faith.

We went and met the little guy anyway. Took some pictures. Tried to adjust to the idea of having a boy instead of a girl. A restless night followed.

The next morning I noticed a change in Laurel’s countenance. She was now confident that this dog was God’s answer to her prayers. When I asked her to elaborate, she said, “Mom, I know God led you to choose Katie and that He wouldn’t mislead you. He knew all along that she wasn’t going to have a girl. So God gave me a boy instead.”

And that settled it.

I admire her faith. It’s the kind that says, “God, I trust Your heart and Your character, even when the outcome isn’t what I had hoped for. You are Good. You give good gifts. Therefore, I receive what You give as good.”

When I grow up, I want to be more like my daughter.

So, meet “Beau.” (Chris is just fine with that name, as long as Laurel agrees to have only one “beau” at a time. He is praying the dog will lead a long and healthy life.)

He’s not what we prayed for exactly.

But apparently ‘he’ is the answer!

“Indeed, the Lord will give what is good…” (Psalm 85:12a, NAS)

P.S. The pink collar has been exchanged for a sparkly silver one. He may be a boy, but this boy will have his bling!

Prone to Panic

Posted on August 23, 2013January 11, 2014 by Shelley

“A southeastern Idaho ranch lost 176 sheep as the animals ran in fear from two wolves…”

This story on my Facebook newsfeed the other day caught my attention. Curious, I clicked on the link to read more.

According to the owner of the sheep ranch, 119 lambs and 57 ewes were lost in the early morning ambush. But less than a dozen sheep actually perished from injuries inflicted by the wolves. The vast majority died from…asphyxiation. What? Reporter Mike Koshmrl of the Jackson Hole Daily explains: “Running downhill in a panic, about 165 sheep from the (herd) were killed, trampled and smothered in their terror.”

The panic attack was more deadly than the wolf attack.

I did some research. Apparently for skittish sheep, this is not that unusual. “Even if sheep are not directly bitten or survive an attack, they may die from panic…” (Storey’s Guide to Raising Sheep) How needless. How sad.

I’m reminded that I too am a sheep prone to panic.

This is especially true for me in the wee hours of the morning, when a bad dream or a full bladder disrupt peaceful slumber. In the dark, semi-conscious, I’m more vulnerable to cries of wolf. Within minutes, “…my anxious thoughts multiply within me…” (Psalm 94:19a, NAS). And once spooked, fears, doubts and insecurities can stampede into a suffocating pileup at the base of a hill called Reason.

Carrying me right along with them.

What’s a sheep to do?

I have learned over the years to try not to put too much stock into thoughts that intrude in the middle of the night. Darkness has a way of distorting reality and magnifying problems. The light of day mercifully illumines Truth.

A definition of faith that I’ve always liked and remembered is this:

“Faith is a refusal to panic.” (David Martyn Lloyd-Jones)

Now if I could just remember to apply it! For once runaway fears take off, they can be next to impossible to corral. That’s when I bleat out a plaintive cry for help…

Shepherds and ranchers will go to great lengths to protect their flock from wolves and other predators. Realistically, they can’t be out in the fields with their animals 24/7. I was intrigued to learn that some ranch owners have implemented a creative solution known as “livestock guardians.” Sheep specialist Susan Schoenian describes their function: “A livestock guardian generally stays with the sheep without harming them and aggressively repels predators.” Certain breeds of dogs, llamas, and donkeys have proven to be very effective in this role.

I love the beauty and serenity in this picture of a faithful livestock guardian on the job:

And I realize…God is not only our Shepherd. He is also our Guardian.

“Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:25, NLT)

This Shepherd is not distant or detached. He is an ever-present Guardian, right smack dab in the middle of the flock. He is alert and attentive to His timid sheep’s cries for help. He instantly knows when they’re under attack from doubts within or threats without, whether real or imagined. There’s no need to push the panic button with Him on the scene. Sheep in His care can rest, secure in His love, safe in His protection.

I’m His sheep. He is with me.

As a result I can confidently declare:

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shalt not…panic!”

Let’s Keep Calm and Trust On!

(Note: “Guardian” is another great song we sing in church! You can listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiRH8Hc8VQI )

Mom Marathon

Posted on August 5, 2013April 14, 2015 by Shelley

I am a mom.

I am tired.

Anyone who’s had kids knows those two sentences often go hand in hand.

I guess I’ve earned the right to be weary. I’ve been at this mothering thing for nearly 22 years now. And with a newly-minted teenager under our roof, it appears I’ll be at it for a few more.

Sometimes it feels like I’m running a marathon.

In fact, if I add up the time from when our first child entered the world to when our youngest child will exit high school, the span is a little over 26 years. A marathon = 26.2 miles. Hmmm. That must mean I’m in Mile 22 of the Mom Marathon.

No wonder I’m tired.

Believe it or not, I actually completed a couple of 10ks back in the day. (Never mind the fact that I passed out after one of them.) But I’ve never run a marathon. Nor do I wish to. I can only imagine the challenges of a race that long.

“The marathon is half over at 20 miles.” quipped distance runner Frank Shorter. Apparently around miles 20 to 21 there comes a point where runners have used up their glycogen stores, and the race becomes even more difficult. Exhausted runners are literally “running on empty,” and have hit the proverbial “Wall.” It’s a phenomenon also known as “The Marathon Bonk.”

Could there also be a “Motherhood Bonk?”

It sure might help explain some things.

Like how my reserves seem to be depleted. How my reactions aren’t always stellar. How I sometimes wonder if I’ll make it through one more round of teenage drama.

(So while I may be going “bonkers,” it’s a relief to consider that it might even be “normal” and expected at this stage in the race!)

How do marathoners beat the bonk? I turned to the Internet in search of some tips that might help me conquer my maternal marathon mountain. The collective wisdom they had to offer could be summarized in just two words:

Don’t. Quit.

Really? Is that the best you’ve got? Cause I was kind of hoping for a little bit more.

One marathoner put it this way: “What do you do? Keep going! Your body will make the transition and you will push through “the wall” to the finish line.”*

Maybe those marathon veterans are wiser than one might think. It sounds an awful lot like something the apostle Paul once said:

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NLT)

Life is hard. So is parenting.

We’re all going to hit those inevitable “walls,” those times when we’re running on empty. When we don’t know how we can possibly take another step.

Press on. Push through.

God will give us the strength to put one front in front of the other. And then do it again. And again. And again.

Because that’s how it’s done.

Along the way, He will refresh and refuel us. He’ll supply everything we need to finish the race. And finish well.

And so we keep on running…

(In church yesterday we sang the Hillsong United song “Running.” It was timely encouragement! Perhaps it will encourage you too! Check it out here: http://youtu.be/UOq5vmsTDWY )

*Source: www.marathonrookie.com

Friends

Posted on July 13, 2013September 4, 2013 by Shelley

On two consecutive days this past week I enjoyed visits with two different friends. (Actually, three. It was a good week. But to simplify I’ll just talk about two.)

One friend is “old,” not in age, but in duration–we’ve been friends for over two decades. (Although the longer we are friends, the more both meanings of the word “old” apply!) We lived in the same town for a little over two years. Our mutual love for the Lord is the glue that holds us together despite time and distance.

The second friend is “new.” We’ve known each other for about two years. She lives nearby, and is a couple decades younger. We also share a special bond in the Lord, which makes the age difference seem irrelevant.

And I need them both.

“Old” friends ground us. When I’m with them I look back. I remember who I was, who I still am. We’re a part of each other’s history. We know each other’s stories. Conversation flows effortlessly, punctuated with laughter. (Or “cackling,” as this particular friend’s husband unwisely called it.)

“New” friends inspire us. When I’m with them I look forward. I see who I can be. We’re a part of each other’s present lives. We know each other’s struggles. Conversation runs deep, peppered with “aha” moments.

“A friend loveth at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17, KJV)

Tiny, forest green ‘x’s spell out this verse in a cross stitch which hangs in my hallway. It was lovingly created for me by another “old” friend. It serves as a reminder of those special friends “who have been long tried and proved, and found faithful,” and that “…these should be kept to and valued…” (John Gill)

Reflecting on the benefits of newer friendships, this verse comes to mind:

“Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” (Proverbs 27:10b, NAS)

Because sometimes you just need to sit face to face with someone who can be “Jesus with skin on.” Someone who will listen as you pour out your soul over a cup of coffee (or, in my case, tea). Someone you can text at 3:30am to share one of those “aha” moments. (Yes, she did.) Because “…a neighbour that is a fast and faithful friend, and who is not only near as to place but as to affections is more serviceable and, useful to a man in time of distress…” (Gill)

So we need them both.

Old friends, who fit us like a pair of well-worn jeans; familiar and comfortable.

New friends, who lift our spirits like a cute, new outfit; fresh and promising.

Both are gracious gifts from God, given to remind us that:

“…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24b, NAS)

For don’t we need His friendship most of all?

In Him we find the best of both friends; perfect and timeless.

Lord, thank You for friends near and far, old and new. You give such good gifts. Thank You for being “(The) Friend who sticks closer than a brother (or a sister!).” YOU are the very best gift!

(Quotes are taken from Gill’s Exposition of The Entire Bible.)

Stormy Weather

Posted on July 2, 2013April 14, 2015 by Shelley

The drive to Laurel’s orthodontist appointment on this sunny summer morning was pleasant enough. We chatted amiably and even prayed together. The drive home? Not so much. By the time we turned into the driveway we were hardly speaking to each other.

This was Laurel’s first time getting her braces tightened. (Or adjusted. Or whatever it is they do to braces these days.) The assistant wasn’t the most gentle, and before we even left the office Laurel’s teeth were already sore. She was also disappointed that her braces were minus the colored elastics she was hoping to sport for her upcoming birthday. (This may sound minor. Let me assure you, as the mom of a 12-almost-13-year-old, that it is not.) Physical pain plus emotional let down is a bad combo.

When my children are hurt I don’t handle it well. I often react by getting angry. Not at them, but at the situation, and my lack of control over it. (Of course, they don’t know the difference.) I also have a low tolerance for complaining. The kind which commenced immediately upon exiting the orthodontist’s office. Another bad combo.

Add to all of this an adolescent girl and one menopausal mama and you’ve now got yourself a really bad combo. A hormonal hurricane. The perfect storm.

Our emotions and voices began rising like an incoming tidal surge. Before we even knew what had hit, “Tropical Storm Smith” had made landfall and was swirling around us. Words pelted. Tears fell.

Upon arriving home we quickly retreated to separate rooms to recover and regroup. I attempted to process the emotionally charged exchange that had just occurred. A common denominator stood out to me: Pain.

When we are hurting, either physically or emotionally, conditions are ideal for a storm to develop. I also recalled reading a few years ago that hurricanes need fuel, in the form of moist, warm air, to survive. Laurel’s frustration and my anger added the necessary fuel components. Next thing we knew we were caught up in unexpected, heated conflict.

Jesus knew a thing or two about storms. To this day, the Sea of Galilee is notorious for sudden storms that can spring up out of nowhere. Jesus and His disciples were threatened by such storms on more than one occasion. Only they never caught Him off guard.

Thankfully, He also knows a thing or two about calming storms. I asked Him to settle my heart and restore peace to my relationship with my daughter. We offered and accepted apologies and shared hugs. We were able to discuss what had happened, and why, and how we might prevent it from escalating out of control in the future.

It isn’t always smooth sailing in relationships. Storms sneak up. Conflicts come. Hormones wreak havoc. But we don’t have to end up a shipwreck. With His help we can seek to understand our reactions, learn from our mistakes, and take steps to avoid repeating them.

“And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” (Mark 4:39, ESV)

Ahh, the sweet calm after the storm.

(Note: The painting above is called “Storm Before the Calm” by Lucy Dickens.)

Backyard Battles

Posted on June 18, 2013January 8, 2016 by Shelley

The other day I was startled by a commotion outside my bedroom window. I looked up just in time to see a hawk streaking across our backyard with two angry, noisy robins in hot pursuit. My guess is that Mr. Hawk was seeking refreshment at the “Red-Breast Bed and Breakfast.” Only Ma and Pa Robin responded with a firm “No Vacancy!”

It’s Open Season on baby birds. Hawks aren’t the only predators. Several of my friends have been blessed with bird’s eye views of nests this spring. In fact, just this morning one of these friends shared her distress over recent blue jay attacks on the nest that was constructed inside a planter on her porch. Five babies were scattered on the ground as she and her daughter ran interference in an impassioned effort to rescue them. (Three currently remain.) (Just received an update. Make that one.)

This past weekend I was outside pulling weeds, soaking in some sun, when, for about the third time this week, a hawk zoomed overhead followed by a squawking robin. Another ambush averted? I could only hope.

Something inside my maternal soul resonated with the robins’ relentless efforts to protect their little ones from harm. I could relate, in a spiritual sense, to the sobering reality that a predator also hovers over my nest, with my children in his sights.

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion (or ‘a soaring hawk,’ SLS version), looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8, NLT)

He circles the house. Hungry for his next meal. Waiting for an opportunity to strike.

I can’t see him, but I know he’s out there.

My offspring, the object of his cruel desire.

That afternoon, as I watched the robin tenaciously chase the hawk out of the yard, I pictured the faces of my own children. This quiet declaration rose up within me, a mother’s battle cry:

You. Can’t. Have. Them.

Like the robin, I may be small, but I will be unstoppable when it comes to fighting for my babies. I will stay alert in prayer for them. I will partner with my faithful God in protecting them, both in and out of the nest.

A second friend recently witnessed another dramatic backyard battle. Her barn cat had captured a helpless baby bird and was preparing to enjoy his little snack. Mama and Papa bird were nearby, frantic. They dove at the cat in desperate attempts to secure the baby’s release. Then one of them, in a last ditch effort to distract the feline, cleverly feigned a broken wing.

The strategy worked! The cat pounced on the parent, consuming it instead. The baby escaped, unharmed.

What a poignant picture of Christ! He delivered Himself over to the adversary, offering His life for ours and securing our freedom. His is a love so fierce that He will stop at nothing to save His children.

He looked the enemy square in the eye and declared:

You. Can’t. Have. Them.

“I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.” (John 10:28, NAS)

He will fight for us and for our children.

Talking to Myself

Posted on June 14, 2013July 1, 2013 by Shelley

Belittling. Criticizing. Name calling.

Things I would never allow my kids to say to each other.

Why is it okay for me to talk to myself like that?

When it comes to self-talk, unfortunately I don’t always practice what I preach. I come down on myself, focusing on my failures and scolding myself for my shortcomings. None of this makes me want to rise up and be a better person. In fact, it has quite the opposite effect.

Lately I’ve been challenged to pay more attention to the messages I send to myself. I’m trying to listen more carefully to the way the LORD speaks to me.

What if I patterned my internal speech after His?

Perhaps I’d talk to myself more like this…

1) Kindly

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her.” (Hosea 2:14, NAS)

When God speaks, He is always and unbelievably kind. We should be as kind to ourselves as He is, and as we usually desire to be to others. For “I myself am in need of the alms of my own kindness.” (Carl Jung)

“If you can’t think of something nice to say…think of something!”

Our former pastor, Rick Mann, coined this phrase to encourage his three boys to practice a discipline of kindness. If I applied this to my self-talk, I could start by refraining from berating myself. Then I might take it a step further. For example, instead of dwelling on the fact that I’ve gained a few pounds, perhaps I could applaud my sedentary self for actually starting and keeping up with an exercise program the past few months! (Yay me!)

2) Gently

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29, NIV)

Of all the attributes Jesus could have used to describe Himself, He chose gentleness and humility. He is so gentle with us in our weakness and woundedness. He is never harsh.

“We learn to be gentle with ourselves by experiencing the intimate, heartfelt compassion of Jesus.” (Brennan Manning)

Rather than beating myself up when I fail, why don’t I try instead to be careful, tactful, and gentle with my heart? It really is a much more Christ-like response.

3) Truthfully

“I tell you the truth…” Over and over again in the Gospels, Jesus uses this expression. We can always count on Him to tell us the truth about ourselves. As Adrian Rogers once said,

“The truest thing about me is what God says about me.”

But He doesn’t just tell us the truth. I find it intriguing that whenever ‘truth’ is mentioned in the Bible, it is often paired with something else, like kindness (Proverbs 3:3), grace (John 1:14) or love (Ephesians 4:15). The Lord is both truth-telling and grace-giving.

Following His example means I can be honest with myself. I can own my sin and acknowledge my mistakes. But I can do it in an atmosphere of acceptance, in a safe place called grace.

4) Lovingly

“God told them, ‘I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!’ “ (Jeremiah 31:3, The Message)

Just the other day I was assuring my twelve-year-old daughter that she can trust us and our decisions as her parents. Because, the bottom line is–and always will be–that we LOVE her. I too am a daughter who needs to be reminded that she is unconditionally and deeply loved by her heavenly Father.

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. God’s love for you and his choice of you constitute your worth. Accept that, and let it become the most important thing in your life.” (John Eagan)

He chose me, loves me, and values me! This changes everything, including how I treat and talk to myself.

I am a daughter of the King! Remembering who I am should affect my self-talk. (I can just hear Him saying, “Don’t talk to my daughter that way!”) He is kind, gentle, truthful and loving towards me. Shouldn’t I respond to myself in the same way?

I am “one beloved by God.” And so are you!

Let’s address ourselves accordingly.

Take a few moments if you can and let the words of the Kari Jobe song, “My Beloved,” speak to your heart! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeP_hMttXDs