We were finally “empty nesters.”  Well, for the weekend at least.  With our three girls spread out across Oregon, Nebraska and Colorado, Chris and I found ourselves “home alone” for the first time in over 20 years!  We tried to recall all those things parents wish they could do when the kids are young and constantly underfoot.  (But we’re old and couldn’t remember what they were.)  We did manage to take in a couple of movies and eat at a restaurant we liked, without having to listen to the complaints of a certain picky eater.  Silence can be golden.

Then last weekend we were blessed with a “full house.”  The chicks returned to the nest — along with several others, Rachel’s college friends/sorority sisters.  (And Chris resumed his normal “Minority in a Sorority” status.)  The Smith Bed and Breakfast/ Restaurant/Tea Room was Full.  Not just of guests, but of laughter, noise, activity and Life.

Talk about extremes!  From an empty nest to a full house, all in a matter of days!  When I mentioned this on Facebook, a friend commented, “I pray you’re content in both.”  This got me wondering, What does it really mean to be content?

I like to think of myself as a content person.  I’m usually “in the moment.”  You know, the “wherever you are, be all there” type.  (My husband worries about this when I travel.  I get so caught up in the here and now that I’ve been known to forget that I have a family back home who might appreciate a phone call every now and then.)

But even if contentment doesn’t come naturally to us, the apostle Paul maintains that it is a character quality that can be acquired:  “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11b, NIV)  He expands on this in the next verse:  “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:12b)

I was intrigued to discover that the metaphor Paul uses here is a reference to pagan initiation rites.*  Rachel and her friends were recently initiated into their sorority on the CSU campus.  I was also a sorority girl in college (please don’t judge).  Initiation is the ceremony where the “secrets” of the organization are revealed to the new members.  So what is the “secret” to contentment and how can we join the “club”?

Unlike Paul, I am still learning.  But I believe it begins with knowing God and learning to trust His character.  “A contented mind is an invaluable blessing, and is one of the fruits of religion in the soul.  It arises from the belief that God is right in all his ways.”  (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, emphasis mine.)  I can be content when I rest in the knowledge that God is good and therefore whatever He chooses to give me is also “good.” (See Psalm 84:11-12.)  He has promised His children that He will take even the negative things in life and bring something positive out of them.  (See Romans 8:28.)

Merriam-Webster defines content as to be “satisfied.”  Barnes goes on to say that “…one of the secrets of happiness is to have a mind satisfied with all the allotments of Providence.”  This reminds me of the saying, “Happiness is wanting what you have.”  We have a choice to focus on what we wish we had or to embrace and find satisfaction in what we do have–the blessings, big or small, that a gracious God has bestowed on us.

A few times during The Weekend of the Empty Nest I did feel sorry for myself because I was missing out on a fabulous choir trip to Portland.  But dwelling on that would have caused me to squander the valuable gift of uninterrupted time alone with my husband.  The noise level did get to me during The Weekend of the Full House, when it disrupted a television program I was trying to watch or interfered with my sleep.  But becoming irritable would have robbed my joy in being hospitable, so I chose to entertain my guests instead of those thoughts.

Members of the Episcopal church are encouraged to pray this prayer at the start of each day:  Grant us…minds always contented with our present condition.**  Perhaps we could make this our prayer as well.  It might be another key to unlocking the secret of contentment.

Rachel and Co. have since returned to the dorm, and our home has returned to a state of relative calm.  Who knows what next weekend will bring?  But I do know that whether the house is empty or full, quiet or loud, or somewhere in between those two extremes, I can choose to be…content.

Care to join me?

*Source:   Vincent’s Word Studies.

**From the U.S. Book of Common Prayer, 1892.